One thing I can say for sure, after more than eight months of experience with this--new moms tend to receive heaps and heaps of unsolicited advice, but very little actual help. For all the times that I've been told either to let the baby cry or to not let the baby cry, I wish that at least one hour of childcare had been donated--that would have meant at least forty hours of blissful time to myself. Stretched over the thirty-six weeks my baby has been alive, that would have meant at least one long bubble bath each week.
The advice does seem to center around this issue of letting or not letting the baby cry. I don't want to delve into that thorny issue too deeply right now, although I could discuss it at length in some other post. The point here is--why do people assume that their own experience with a baby, or babies, will be just like someone else's? And why do they assume that a mother is eager to hear their advice, when she hasn't even asked for it?
These assumptions are wrong in other situations as well, of course. For instance; too often, adults assume that all children will be just like they were as kids, and that their advice will apply perfectly to a child they know, when sometimes it applies horribly and the child doesn't want to hear it.
It might be a good general rule of thumb, in fact: don't offer advice if you can offer help instead.
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