I've reached a new stage in this fatigue saga (I feel a bit like Knut Hamsen's character in Hunger at this point). Every bit as tired today as yesterday, I chose to spend two free hours this morning (the baby was napping) looking at various strollers online. And for two more free hours this afternoon (the husband was watching the baby, to give me a break) I started cleaning the kitchen and dining room, then organizing the baby's room and certain parts of the living room. Why I've become so manic, I couldn't say; weird things happen when one is really tired. But it does feel good to know that at least part of the house has attained a functional, manageable level of filth and disorder once again.
I did end up buying a stroller today; far from being completely satisfied with the purchase, I'm just hoping that the little guy will not protest too much when I take him for a walk in it. It was an agonizing decision in the store, as I sized up three very different strollers and had to decide which defect was the least offensive (for they all had defects, none of them was perfect)...was fairly exhausted when we got home, but took the baby for an hourlong walk anyway, then, as I said, went into a manic cleaning and organizing mode.
Maybe I'm unable to relax because I feel like a house with a shaky frame: a certain amount of constant pressure and tension might be all that's holding me together at this point.
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