"I Couldn't..."

I've had several friends tell me, in recent months, "I couldn't do what you're doing." Meaning--they couldn't stay home with a baby or toddler, 24 hours a day, for two and a half years.

I don't quite know how to take this remark. I don't take offense to it. I just don't know how to respond.

The truth is, I'm not sure what they're saying. It would be too much of a strain for them to stay home? They wouldn't be able to stand the frustration and boredom of being away from their workplace for that long?

I think that it's meant as a sort of compliment--"I know that what you're doing must be very difficult at times and I applaud you for it"; but then, they could have said that instead.

In the end, I suppose I just have to take the comment at face value: they really don't think they could do it. And if I were to respond honestly, I would tell them: "Of course you could. If you had to, you could."

It makes me think about the time in this country when women had almost no other choice but to stay home with their children. The time, not so long ago. Yes, I'm sure that many women suffered from clinical depression (without being diagnosed) and chafed mightily against the restraints that being a mother of young children imposes (my own mother chafed more than a bit). But they did it; they had practically no choice. And I'm sure that the majority of them did it with the grace and love that my mother exhibited.

It seems like we've reached another extreme (if my friends' comments are any measure): the stay-at-home mom is no longer the norm; and perhaps, it's seen as either an eccentric role to take on, or a bit heroic. (A bit too heroic?)

As I said, I don't know how to interpret my friends' remarks. What's striking, though, is that they all used almost the same phrasing. "I couldn't do what you're doing."