What is it to love a child? Those who say "A baby changes you" (with the implied message that parental love is automatically self-sacrificing and noble) are simply wrong. The love of a child can be selfish, misguided, and/or inadequate; there's such a thing as a "trophy child," just as there are trophy wives, trophy husbands. Having a child does not automatically gain us entry into some sort of elite club of Selfless Parents. It just means an awesome responsibility, and the rest of our lives to deal with it.
To love a child is to know tremendous fear. "What if I'm just not good enough for this, what if I can't handle it? What if I drop my baby? What if..." But if we didn't feel this fear, perhaps we would not understand how lucky we are, every day, when nothing goes wrong. Of course, something will go wrong, over the course of our children's lives. They will fall; they will hit their head on something; they will know pain, heartache, sickness, suffering of one kind or another. (Even as I write this, a voice inside me says, "Not my kid!" But I know not to listen to it--or at least, not to fall asleep listening to it.)
To love a child is to ache inside, thinking about his smile when you greet him in the morning.
To love a child is to know how to scold him for something he did wrong without losing one's temper.
To love a child is to never say, even internally, "You owe me, after all I've put up with for your sake."
To love a child is to be there for him, even when he's being difficult. Or when you're being difficult.
To love a child is to take care of yourself, to make a life for yourself, to have a successful career, and to work and make sacrifices for the community--all things that help you serve as a good role model for your child.
To love a child is to laugh with him.
To love a child is one of the best rewards life has to offer. And, in the end--it's all we have.
No comments:
Post a Comment