Personality

What is a personality--and when do we have one? At a baby store in San Francisco yesterday, watched a two and a half week old baby, a little doll-like creature of about six pounds or so, kicking its legs and crying with its miniature, gasping voice. Comparing this baby to my own, it does seem that my child has made great strides in his development of a personality. But is he really so different at this stage than a thousand other six-month-old babies? Smiles readily; protests vociferously when I leave the room for too long; grabs and bites everything in reach; seems proud of his small accomplishments, like rolling over from his front to his back, or pressing the music button on the plastic fish.

What I actually believe, however (like any doting mom I suppose) is that his winning personality was there at birth, but will not come into full flower until sometime in the next year or so--and it's my job to provide him with enough nurturing, enriching soil to let his personality achieve its fullest possible expression.

I have a picture of him lying on the examining table minutes after the grueling experience of being born, with such a thoughtful expression on his face that he seems to have just exited a Life Strategies conference that he'd been attending in the womb. He has his quiet, thoughtful moments now, as well--but I don't think I've ever seen him with quite the same expression on his face as during those first moments of life. But was that his "personality," or just the normal reposeful look of a child recovering from the birth experience? And--does it really make a difference how well I prepare the "soil," or will his personality come to the fore and shine brilliantly, regardless? The old "nature or nurture" question perhaps--but maybe that's a ridiculous debate. Does a seedling need "nature" or "nurture" to develop? Both, of course. And so does any child.

How much "nurture" does he need? I suppose that's the real question. And, how much "nurture" is too much?