Took a brief walk with baby and husband today at Moss Beach, along the ocean bluffs, past the Moss Beach Distillery and down roped-off, unused Ocean Avenue, which is being overtaken by weeds and erosion. The street is reverting back to its natural state. Not even one square foot of it is perfectly flat any more, and many sections of it cave in or bulge out at crazy thirty-degree or forty-five-degree angles. You can see and feel the land heaving up to reclaim it.
Motherhood feels a bit like that. The extreme fatigue I'm feeling almost every day leaves me with no energy for organizing my papers and personal affairs (weeds and erosion), I have bigger curves everywhere and can't seem to shake the last ten pounds I gained for the baby (caving in and bulging out), and I love to lie down on any flat surface (the land is heaving up to reclaim me). So it's not that motherhood puts me in touch with the earth, as some people might claim. It's that I sometimes feel as if I'm coming apart at the seams, and that puts me in touch with an eroded street in Moss Beach.
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