The Fine Art of Conversation

I've just read that if Facebook were a country, it would have the third highest population, behind only China and India. I've not yet succumbed to the allure of social network web sites; I do see their utility--the ease with which one can look up old friends, or just keep in touch with people at a distance. But I've resisted for several reasons; one of them being, I don't seem to have enough time to vacuum the house, much less maintain a Facebook site. Another reason is the difficulty of erasing one's presence on the Web as soon as one has become a member of some of these sites. Even discontinuing a membership, it seems, is no guarantee that one's personal information will not remain accessible.

Another reason I'm not a member of any social networking site is that I don't like revealing intimate details about my life to anonymous masses of people--and it seems like this is, at least in part, the purpose of these sites. (Of course, most people would argue that it's not for the anonymous masses, that they're on Facebook or Twitter for that special group of friends and associates who are already a part of their lives in some way. But then, why not just establish a personal web site?)

Most people who've asked me to become a Facebook member are in their thirties, a bit younger than I am, and are seeking advancement in their careers, and/or romance. Facebook is a great way to say, "Here I am!"--and I actually do see the usefulness of this kind of self-presentation, in certain situations. What bothers me--and this is probably the principal reason I'm not a Facebook member--is the feeling that we're all shouting "Here I am!" so frequently and so loudly that it has succeeded in drowning out the more nuanced conversations people could be having--whether in person, on the telephone, or on the Internet. No, beyond that--it has reduced people's tolerance for these sorts of conversations. How many of us even understand the art of conversation any more?  (And I count myself in that lumpen mass of people who've never really mastered it.)