Decency, Part Three

We live in an era in which the majority of working-age people focus on three or four projects and a handful of friends, to the exclusion of almost everything else. (Unless making friends is one of their "projects," in which case they might have hundreds, but these are rarely friendships of any great substance.) In other words, we live in an era in which most people are increasingly isolated because of their own behavior and because of everyone's general busy-ness. In my view, the combined stresses of the malfunctioning economy, world and local overpopulation, and global overmediatization, as well as poorly designed urban areas (with too much suburban sprawl, not enough liveable neighborhoods), are partly to blame for this. But maybe one could also say that it's just a general cultural trend.

I'm not saying this is a horrible situation. But I often think it's unfortunate. It doesn't make for a happy life, necessarily, to focus so narrowly. And I wonder if the common decency that people often feel is lacking in our culture has to do with this tunnel-vision way of living. Do people still invite others over for coffee at the drop of a hat, whether those others qualify as close friends or not? I know a few people like this; but they tend to be much older, say in their seventies or eighties. It's probably also true for a small minority of the younger generation (teens and twenties), but then there's always a higher percentage of free-spirited people in that age group.

And yes, both those age groups have more time on their hands. But it's not about time, so much as a quality of attention, and a certain fundamental acceptance. Most people these days lack some sort of basic willingness to accept the person in front of them as mildly interesting and valuable, if not downright amusing and lovable. I know this will sound Pollyanna-ish to many. And I'm not sure I've even said what I want to say. But it will have to do for now.