Discipline?

At a one-evening workshop for mothers of children turning one year old, we were taught that discipline is somewhat impossible for toddlers, at least young toddlers (between 1 and 2 years). You can redirect their energy to other more productive and safe activities, or you can just eliminate the option of that dangerous/destructive activity (locking the door to the bathroom, hiding the computer and cell phone, not letting them get too close to younger babies, and so forth). Also, studies have shown that if you tell them "Don't run into the street," they just hear the words "Run into the street," so even the command not to do something isn't very effective.

All of this jibes with what I've experienced so far; my attempts to discipline my son with verbal commands have fallen on deaf ears, or they actually encourage him to pursue the forbidden activity. I see mothers in playgroups reprimanding their one-year-olds with long speeches and with stern words, and I have my doubts as to how much of that the little tykes are absorbing. Apparently, Dr. Harvey Karp (of the "Happiest Baby" books) says that toddlers are little Neanderthals, in the sense that it's best to keep your conversations with them very simple and straightforward (I haven't actually read his book on toddlers, but his ideas are cited in many articles). But even using Neanderthal language doesn't seem to stop my son from heading straight for the bathroom if he wants to go there, or engaging in any number of other mischievous activities.

So for me, this advice about the uselessness of discipline at this age is something of a relief. I was berating myself for not disciplining my child enough, but also, for not understanding how to do it. Now I realize that I don't have to worry so much about that...though I do have to worry about how I'll manage to keep a few steps ahead of my intrepid, fast-paced, curious little boy over the next year or so.