"It's a harder job than people can imagine if they've never done it," I heard a woman say the other day, about raising a child. (I think she was referring more specifically to being a mother, but some fathers have full-time duties as caregivers, so I'll widen the reference to include them.) I wonder if what she said is true; but I do understand the sentiment.
I'm still waking up three or four times a night, that is, my child is still waking up that much to be fed. (I said I wasn't going to discuss his personal habits--well, I'll surely break my own rules more than once with this blog...) He's waking up, and I'm almost sure he's legitimately hungry, and is not just waking up to be comforted.
So yes, this is a harder job than I'd ever imagined. I'm almost walking into walls with fatigue sometimes, and yes, there are some extremely challenging moments.
The other side of it is the intense joy I feel when I go to him in the morning, that is, when he's really waking up--he almost always shoots me this gorgeous, beaming smile...it almost spoils it to write about it. Just that smile alone keeps me going through a long day and night, sometimes.
When I think about that smile, and other moments of intense joy, it seems to me that even fatigue can be beautiful...
(Although it is, sometimes, just damn difficult. No getting around it.)
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