Fatigue

The only thing I can possibly write about at the moment is an intense fatigue permeating every cell of my body.

I said I wasn't going to discuss his private, intimate habits--including his feeding schedule. But I'll make this one further exception. The reason I'm so tired is the frequency with which he wakes up at night, and the length of time that he's sometimes awake. He still wakes up three times, most nights.

That means that I'm usually sleeping between one hour and two and a half hours before I have to get up. Over and over and over.

Some nights (like last night) he's up five times. And some nights (like last night), he's also playful and active during one of those wake-up sessions, for about an hour or an hour and a half.

I'm exhausted.

"Sleeping through the night" is described in parenting books as that golden moment when the baby sleeps five hours in a row. From midnight to 5 am, for instance.

I can't imagine anymore what that's like.

More importantly--I have no reserves of energy left. Completely wiped out at the moment. Never felt this tired before.

What's depressing, though, is not the fatigue, but the idea that it could get even worse.