Whining, Ltd.

An online baby care guide talks about how the whining and protesting ramps up at fifteen months of age. I'm experiencing this. But it helps, a little bit, to think about it somewhat differently: toddlers at this age are soooo hungry for experience, it must be acutely frustrating to them to be stymied in any way, even for a few moments.

I've found that if I approach the whining or mini-tantrums with these simple steps, it makes things a lot easier:

(1) If the little one is whining or screaming because of tiredness or hunger, DO something about it immediately (put them to bed, or feed them). Don't force them to put up with their fatigue or hunger once they're at the screaming stage. In fact, learn to sense that they're getting tired or hungry before there are outward signs. Also, keep them to a schedule as much as possible. (My little one almost always has breakfast at around 7:30, lunch at around noon and dinner at around 6:15. And he's in bed right around 8 pm.)

(2) If they're not hungry or tired, but they just want to do something badly, like climb stairs or play with doors, or they DON'T want to do something, like get in the car seat: Sometimes it's good to slow down and let them explore at their own pace before moving on to the next activity. But if that's just not possible, or they're doing something dangerous, it helps a lot if you distract them and/or offer something attractive as an alternative, or if no alternative is possible (e.g., they have to get in the car seat), give them something to look forward to, like a bottle of water once they're in their seat, or a favorite toy or even, "we're going to go take a bath at home!" or "we're going to go eat dinner!"

(3) If they're not convinced by your alternative activity, don't pause to explain things to them or reason with them, just put them in the car seat or pull them away from the door--do it gently of course. I'll frequently offer a few words or one word of explanation, like, "Danger, danger," or "Time to go!" But don't spew out several sentences of explanation to a toddler; and don't give in to their tantrum. The exception of course is if they're in some kind of bodily discomfort.

(4) Use humor or music while carrying out # 3, and after. And though I sometimes forget to do this, it also helps to make direct eye contact, and put my hands on his torso to help calm him.

I swear that those four steps have helped me sail through a lot of brewing tantrums on the part of my very active little guy.