We Don't Need to Figure It All Out (Damn It)

Re:  my post yesterday, there is so much advice about parenting nowadays, about what we must do, what we must not do, how we're ruining our kids, how we are making their lives too easy/too hard/too fast/too slow/too traumatic/too boring etc. etc. etc...

But the truth is that we can only listen to so much advice before we start to go mad.  The mood of yesterday's post was a little bit crazy--the underlying tone of it was "I've got to figure everything out"--but why?

Should I listen to Jerry Seinfeld, and let go a little where my six-year-old is concerned?  Yes--but I'm already doing that, by pursuing a writing/videography career and training for a triathlon.  I don't need to stress so much about this.

For one thing, there are side benefits for our children, when we passionately pursue our own interests.  I'm thinking now of what happened today--I ran a 5K race which also included a 5K walk.  My son did the walk with his dad, and I did the race, and when I won a prize (no big deal--the competition in my gender/age group was very slow) my son looked at it and said, "I want to win a prize."  A seed was planted.  We told him he might win a prize if he started running several days a week.  Maybe he will, maybe he won't, but at least he has some kind of visceral sense now of what's required.

We should pursue our own interests--without letting that substitute for an hour spent right beside our kids, of course, reading a book with them and playing a game.  All common sense stuff.  We shouldn't praise them to the skies for being able to run 25 meters, but we also shouldn't push them to do a 5K at age six if they don't have a strong desire to do it (and some degree of natural talent).

I don't need to figure it all out and I don't need to worry quite so much.